Ryan’s Story: A Hard-Charging California Firefighter Loses His Last Battle to Suicide

‍Part 2 of 4

He was Superman. A skilled surfer, skateboarder and hockey defenseman. A leader much admired and sometimes resented. He was hard-charging, driven by the motto of his unit: “Lead, follow, or get out of the way.”

Cal Fire Captain Ryan Mitchell was the embodiment of the heroic archetype: 6–foot-4, strong and stoic, brave in the face of danger, the last person anyone expected to take his own life.

Until he did.

On that bright November morning, Mitchell cleared up the paperwork at the end of his shift, locked the bay doors at Station 20 in El Cajon and set out to put an end to his pain.

He drove half an hour through picturesque rolling hills to a remote bridge in San Diego County and pulled off to the side of the road. Nearby, large public-service signs urged anyone considering suicide to call a toll-free number.

Mitchell got out of his car, walked onto the Pine Valley Creek Bridge and stepped off the 440-foot-high span. He was 35 years old.

‍One of Many‍

It was 2017, and Mitchell was one of at least 117 firefighters across the country who took their own lives that year, according to the Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance, the only national organization that tracks such figures.

Although there are ample anecdotal stories about suicides among California firefighters, there is no data detailing the scope of the problem at Cal Fire. National data also is sparse, but suicides appears to be increasing nationwide: The alliance has verified 1,750 firefighter suicides since 1880, with 95% of the deaths occurring between 2000 and 2022. Jeff Dill, a retired fire chief who founded the alliance, estimates that only about a third of firefighter suicides are identified because of the social stigma and code of silence.

‍Continuation of story on the CalMatters website.

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Trial by Fire, a four-part series from CalMatters, was reported and written by Julie Cart and edited by Marla Cone. Photography and videos were by Ariana Drehsler, Martin do Nascimento, Miguel Gutierrez Jr. and Julie Hotz. Data visualizations and analysis were by Jeremia Kimelman, Erica Yee and John D’Agostino. Illustrations were by Victor Lowe and Julie Hotz. Production by Liliana Michelena.

‍Trial by Fire is shared by NEP Media with permission from CalMatters.‍‍

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